Monday, September 15, 2008


Lately i have been pondering the idea of faith. It is so interesting. I have completely disregarded its importance in my life. I have always viewed faith like a wispy cloud. It has been feathery and distant, almost transparent so that i could never quite make out its shape.
Now the concept of faith is fairly general in nature, but i have been focusing particularly on human origins. Where did we come from? What was the story? Is the story consistent with the present...that is...can it explain why we are so f#$*ed up? In my mind the story has to be consistent with basic observation for me to even consider it.
I am fond of the Genesis story. I have very little internal conflict believing that was the way humanity came about. Granted it is just a sketch of what happened. We have filled in the blanks with some pretty silly stuff created by our own imagination. We have definitely taken liberties with the story if only in our minds. However i truly believe we are in our present state as a result of actions taken by a single human. I believe in a past glory...we were super humans at one point. I think one mans decision to disconnect from the Creator cost us a vast amount of knowledge. We literally unplugged ourselves from the mainframe. We forfeited our purpose, our value, and our standing. We created an endless amount of questions that we have been trying thousands of years to answer. It seems every generation has its turn at the attempt, yet only a handful get what they are truly seeking.
I think the biggest barrier in believing the Genesis account is its simplicity. We are so far removed from the innocence those first humans experienced. We have layers of generational complexity built up on us the moment we leave the womb. Not to mention the complexity our parents place on us, our peers, our culture, and last but not least.....the complexity we place on ourselves. It makes perfect sense that the enormous gigantic weed that we are constantly staring at in our lives began as a tiny little rebellious decision as simple as eating a piece of fruit.
This is not the whole picture...there are so many tangents that i could easily trace back to this origin and i have spent many a hour doing just that....i have to get to the most basic "WHY" before i can go to sleep at night. Yet i will never reach the end in my life time 1) because i am so far removed from the beginning, 2) i am physically disconnected from the creator.
Humanity has a broken receptor. The first man had a perfect relationship with the creator, so much that they walked and talked together. When he disconnected himself the relationship was severely damaged...irreparable. No more walks and no more cost him lots more than that but basically the shit hit the fan and the contact was never the same. This is easily observed today. At the root of every single action we take we are attempting to regain the security that relationship brought. This is a bold statement but i am willing to stand by it.
So here is where i think J√ęsus comes in. He is the mediator between the injured parties. It is the best explanation offered in my opinion because it is the only one i have found were my pride (source of disconnect) cannot claim any involvement in the reconnection. No merit on my part will help get me back in connection.
Now we are getting to my original point...i needed some background to make the shift. It seems to me that Jesus fulfilled his role. He set up a way to reconnect. Wonderful!! Now what...things still suck! I still have questions, i still piss my pants, i am anxious most of the time... did he really do anything????!!! Well we are here finally to the idea of faith. I think we will never experience what the first humans experienced naturally. They didn't need faith because "it" was tangible. Everything was tangible for them. I am convinced our tangible today comes in the form of faith. Forget all the crap that comes with Christianity...i am talking about a faith that lets us regain our superhuman status. The Faith is being convinced that Jesus actually created a way for us to know our creator...a way to return to the flow of truth. Thats all. No need to organize a comittie for that, just enjoy it. Know it is possible to be free. Free from the disconnect.
The results are not different from the ones claimed by Christianity...purpose, peace, health, love, joy...but Christianity has sold itself to religion and now the holistic fruit is reduced to mere words. We have substituted a relationship for a formula...Christianity even says the formula is a relationship but we cant get past the formula part of it. We are bound by allegiance to a system and the worship of the organization. We left our first love.
It has been so hard for me to separate what i view as facts from the religion of Christianity. It is sad we have made an exclusive religion out of some of the best ideas that offer a great explanation of origin...but people cant accept them not because of lack of evidence, its all the extra requirements religion piles on top. I cant accept the theories on Christianity's terms either. So i am doing my best to salvage what i can from my encounter with christianity...this faith thing is just one of them.

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