redefined

i have noticed a reoccurring theme here lately. Redefining terms! It has been this months endeavor to try and give new meaning to old concepts. Standing up, walking behind the thought and seeing it from another angle. There is so much happening on the other side we never see...more information gives us a more true perspective. I dont think it is possible to have every angle on a matter but it only benefits us to collect as many as possible.
In the past when i have become disenfranchised with an idea i scrapped it. To my own peril sometimes. Maybe it hurt me or caused me to feel guilty so my assumption was to throw it completely away...go in the opposite direction. When maybe my frustration occurred because i was a few degrees off... not 180. I have been learning to make slight adjustments until the pieces fit instead of spinning them around hoping one might fall into place.
I have a new phrase i enjoy using too that goes in this direction..."fulfilling legitimate needs in illegitimate ways". Meaning, the needs in my life arent the culprit... it is the method i choose to use in order to meet those needs that can cause me problems. Example: need to belong...this can get ugly quick if i am compromising at every turn so people will accept me...need to work... i can slave my life away thinking my paychecks determine my self worth...and the list goes on. Every action we take has a base need as its motivation. The key is determining which actions promote health and help me toward meeting my need...and which actions are unhealthy and only appear to meet my need. And we know...we know inside what those things are but past experience confuses us, bad associations distract us (ex. associating God with church), and dishonesty with ourselves keep us from ever seeing the truth. So we suffer!! Day after day chasing the same need with the same action...complaining that we are not happy or fulfilled or content. I am learning to disect my actions. It is so benificial to slow down identify the need and compare it to the actions i am taking. Are they consistent? How long have i tried this and has it every yielded the results i want? What are some other options?!!!! WE HAVE OPTIONS!!! These are a few ways to get to the bottom of things. Once we have slowed down, identified all the players, there only remains to just be honest with the findings. If i come across more i will be sure to blog about it, but so far thats all i got.