Saturday, January 2, 2010

The security of knowing our insecurities Part 1

I constantly have to remind myself that there is no arrival point when exploring my conciousness. We never stop growing!! I have been experiencing some recient growing pains as i try to sort thru my insecurities as a human. The deeper i dig into my mind the more i realize the expansiveness of my insecurities. As soon as i think i have them contained another root emerges and leads to another tree of anxiety that can be very uncomfortable sometimes.
I am slowly getting a grasp on what insecurites are. Insecurity is our attempt to avoid the pain caused by life and others by creating mental copeing systems. The types and sources of insecurities are endless and the way they manifest themselves into "our actions" is extremly varried. Insecurity is tricky because it really means well. By that i mean, its intention is to protect us from getting hurt. The problem with insecurities are they are not flexible...they do not adapt to different situations. They become our default method of handling all high risk situations (situations where our ego might get hurt). Our inability to adjust is what gets us hurt. I am not placing all the blame on poor old insecurity...when we get hurt emotionally be assured it is a very complex blend of ego, instinct, past experience, and fear that causes us to percieve hurt. I say ''Percieve" hurt because that is all it is...our perception. We cant get hurt...we choose(unknowingly) to get hurt because our ego percieves a threat or our insecurites kick in. And there is nothing wrong with this reaction at a base level, survival level. It is an instinct that has allowed us to exist this long, but we are poor masters of our powerful brains. Either because of laziness or lack of evolution we allow our minds to control us.

to be continued....

1 comment:

Andrew Tipton said...

...this is a very interesting take on "insecurities". I definately agree with you, that knowing insecurities can only benefit us - breaking down those "Why?" and "How come?"'s. But, I don't think I would label insecurities as a good guy by any means.. they may be protecting our egos, but I'm curious which part of our egos? It seems that the insecurities' role is one that facilitates the pride ego, the part of us that is slightly beyond mere survival. I would say this is the ego that responds to embarrassment, uncertainty, and self-asserted fears.
For instance, say I have an insecurity about my acne.. I would conclude that it is because my identity might be tied to my pride ego desiring my face to look a certain way... I am self-concious (in my mind not the same as self-aware), and this creates a series of specific reactions based on my percieved deficency or flaw. Vis a vie: withdrawn behavior, negetivity, paranoia - each response generated entirely by me.. in my own head.. led and fostered by my pride ego. (TRUTH: it is up to me to decide if my acne really matters at all).
Those "insecurities" seem not to be self-preserving at all.. rather they are self-generated as well as self-depricating. Perhaps there are several views or types of insecurities?

I'm interested to read part 2 of this topic! :)