Wednesday, August 4, 2010

New Beginnings are Old Endings

I was laid off yesterday from my BP Oil Spill job. Instead of being disappointed or frantic; i was very relieved. For a full 2 months now Josh and I have sweated it out in the scoarching Gulf Coast sun. We worked hard sometimes and other times we worked hard at not being bored. I have witnessed babies being born, birthdays, drownings, hangovers, firings, and all other manner of drama you could imagine. This job has taught me a great deal about the human ego, our desire to control each other, our quest for power...thinking money equals power. And i guess it does equal power if that is how you decide to set up the rules and values in your dream. Through out the course of this job, i did get swept into the money race or power race, but i am finding its easier to slip out now. I am slowly getting the relationship between what i "think" and what i "do" and then how i "feel". They are all directly attached to one another. I am very thankful for having experienced the entirety of this job; the seemingly "good" and the seemingly "bad". I learned patience, i learned to be flexible when things change (and things always change). This job was life fast forwarded. Change came up like a thunderstorm....little warning and fast. It caught me off guard often. And then other times i just sought shelter in my mind and waited it out. Then i realize i created the thunderstorm...change was just neutral information that had nothing to do with me until "I" decided what it had to do with me! ha ha And this is my new hobbie...getting better at recognizing that i am the one putting all the feeling and emotions in my life. I am beginning to see my creations and shaping and freeing.

1 comment:

Lauri said...

Love the post. Want to hear more. Where to now?