Two weeks ago I began an unofficial study on meditation. Armed with a really cool book from Books a Million and plenty of free time; i started down a new road for me. I set out to find a quiet mind. What i have found so far is a loud mind full of fear. I have found a mind that is conditioned to react to life wildly and blindly. I have found a mind who is insecure; constantly bringing every experience back to his self worth. This is the undisciplined yet highly fertile mind i have been observing. I have been trying to do so non-judgementally with some degree of success. Although at first glance all these things sound negative, i have found that i have an overall sense of peace about it all. I don't associate myself with my mind. My worth does not come from thinking. My worth is a constant that has remained the same and will remain the same for as long as i am in this skin suit. Through observation i am waking up! I am waking up to the fact that i am the one who is determining how i feel about life, what something means to me, what success means, what i am responsible for in life, and ultimately what my purpose is as a human. With this awareness comes peace and power. More than anything it gives me the power to change things i don't like or enjoy...things that i have been conditioned to think that are out of my control. And in some cases its only my perspective that needs to change in order to find peace in a situation.
I am excited to see what other observations i discover through meditation. I plan to document things as they come.