I am slowly learning no one is watching me. I am the only one who is concerned about what i do or dont do. And if anyone else is concerned about what i do or dont do; it is only in relation to how it will affect them. We live in bubbles. Its not by choice, it is by definition. We cant get outside ourself (i am still considering this idea though). It is impossible to find a motivation higher than self. Even the most "unselfish" motivation has at its roots us. We will always be the foundation because we are always with ourselves. Whether it is a feeling we desire, an outcome, social praise, physical preservation, sense of right/wrong....we are the ultimate benificary of the action. Sure others will possibly benifit (feeding the homeless, building schools in africa, adopting a baby monkey) but in the end we satisified ourself. I have always assumed or been conditioned to thinking that selfless acts were better than selfish acts...i now think they are one in the same. Even when i read the word selfish i have negative associations, but what are we really saying when we call someone selfish? You are so so selfish. In other words, i do not like your actions because you put yourself before me (or others, but we consider ourself an other)!!!!! Who is selfish in this scenario? We are ego driven and 100% of the time selfish. Hence the human drama.
....to be continued.